Your mental health, or lack of, can have such a great impact on your day-to-day life. In fact, for me, I didn’t even realize until now that it has been about 2 weeks since my last post. So, I thought for this one, I’d ignore the SEO keyword analysis and all the AI tools and tips on how to write and just speak to you directly through my lens of mental health awareness.
For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with my own mental health. Even as a toddler, I was believed to have dealt with early stages of anxiety, depression, grief. My struggles with ADHD, OCD, and social anxiety created issues in socializing with other kids in school. And ever since, I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression. Whether it was starting a new job like I am now or losing a loved one, whatever it was or may be, it has consumed me many times and prohibited me from moving forward which has been costly.
After a couple years of being bullied in middle school and at the start of high school, after doing some things I’m not proud of and turning my back on people, hurting others before I thought they’d hurt me, I wondered if the people around me – that there lives – would be better without me. I wondered if I really made everyone’s lives that much worse. And it took years to get over that. Honestly, from time-to-time, I still wonder if I deserved the hell I went through in high school.
In college, I almost flunked out after the first 2-3 semesters there. I was unsure of myself and my future and nothing seemingly was going right in my life. I began doubting myself and fell into a depression over feeling like a failure. It took a real kick in the ass to starting focusing on academics again. And even then, I still thought about why I was still there, why I was still trying, what was it all for.
After my first real heartbreak, I fell into what felt like a literal life-sucking-abyss. I felt weighed down, unmotivated, unwilling to get up and move on with my life. For months, I barely got out of bed, barely socialized, did anything to feel numb to the pain. I felt completely empty and hopeless. It wasn’t until I really pushed myself to take a chance that I started dating again and that first date after months of despair was with my fiancé. So even though it worked out, I consider myself very lucky that I met someone who is so patient and understanding. Quite honestly, even now but especially then, I was very insecure about myself and that caused problems in the relationship.
In recent months, life has been very challenging to say the least. I lost my job. My parents are in the middle of a split. I am still waiting to find out if I qualify for any aid from unemployment. Finances have become critically tight. My student loan payments, insurance, and all other bills are likely to increase soon. I’m trying to save up to move out of my parents place and start my life with my fiancé and get married. Seemingly everything in my life is just full of uncertainty and so, how have I managed?
Honestly, not great. I wish I had a better answer for you, but I don’t. I’ve slacked off some days while others I’ve made strides. Some days I’ve spent half the day in bed and others I couldn’t stop running around. It’s been a constant rollercoaster ride with ups and downs and twists and turns. On the bright side, I just got hired as a high school teacher which is exciting, but also nerve-racking and anxiety-inducing at the same time. To think that I am going to have a roll in potentially influencing or guiding young adults not much younger than myself into their futures. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. As someone still trying to figure out so much about themselves and get their life together, how can I have an impact on these students?
But that’s a question for another time. Right now, what’s important is to say, look – I wish I could come to you and say I figured it all out and have all the answers and i know there’s plenty of individuals who have experienced similar things. And they’ll tell you they have the answers and tell you what to do because that might’ve worked for them. But everyone is different and the truth about mental health issues – at least in my experience – is that they never truly go away. You will likely deal with them all your life and that’s okay. That’s not to discourage you in any way and that’s not to say that it can’t be done.
What I am saying is that even if it is something that you will struggle with all your life, there are ways to manage it. For me, it’s my fiancé and football and professional wrestling and writing and whatever else I enjoy. It’s taking meds and seeing a therapist. It’s many things. So, my suggestion to you is to find what works for you. Try to be mindful when you think you could be experiencing anxiety, depression, or whatever. Talk to whoever you need to talk to. Try new things if you’re unsure or don’t feel you have that outlet. Do whatever it takes. Keep pushing yourself forward because you don’t want t get stuck. You don’t want to fall into that abyss. I did and it took a lot of valuable time away from me that I could have been doing things to better myself and my future.
Despite that I’m still figuring it all out, I can honestly I am in a much better place than I was, but I’d be in an even better place if I started sooner. I truly believe that. So keep pushing and don’t be discouraged when something doesn’t work or if things get worse. Just keep trying for others, but more importantly for yourself. And I understand that it’s much easier said than done. I’m living proof of that. But I think it’s important to remember that no one can do it for you. You have to be willing to do it for yourself and that you can if you put your mind to it.
Again, you may deal with it all your life, but you have the power to not let it control you. You have the power to take control of your life and how mental health affects you. You are strong and able, no matter what anyone else or even yourself tells you.
I hope that this was helpful and I wish everyone the best of luck and nothing but happiness and healthiness.